The other day after work, I sat in the grass as the sun was setting. No plan in mind, no music, just Rocco and myself. I sat there and for one of the first times, I was present. I closed my eyes and turned towards the warmth of the sun. 

It’s been heavy lately. Maybe it’s the job, maybe it’s just life, but I’ve been holding onto things that were never mine to carry in the first place. People’s pain, the chaos, the memories that replay over and over when I close my eyes. I think that people like me, people who feel deeply. We can mistake compassion for responsibility. We believe that we have to save everyone, hold it all together, and make it right. But all that ever does is quietly break us. 

Slowly I’m learning that healing doesn’t mean that I always have to fix everything. Sometimes, being right in the middle of the mess and saying, “I’ve done all I can, and that’s enough.” It’s not easy. I still cry. I still overthink. I still wish there was more that I could’ve done for those people and moments that still haunt me. But the truth is, strength is not about never breaking. It’s about being able to come back to yourself when you do. 

I used to always believe that my softness was weakness. That being sensitive made me fragile. But now, I see it differently. There’s a special kind of courage when you can feel it all and still open your heart up the next day. I don’t ever want to be hardened by life. I just want to be grounded. Aware, kind, and at peace. 

So now I’m practicing letting go what isn’t mine. The guilt. The stories. The things I couldn’t change. I’m reminding myself that peace isn’t found in perfection. It’s found in the pauses. In moments when I stop holding my breath and finally let the light in. 

If you’re in that same place. Trying to find yourself after carrying too much, I hope you remember this as well. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to put it down. You are allowed to be soft and still be strong. 

Because maybe healing isn’t really about becoming someone new. Maybe it’s remembering who you were before the world told you that being gentle was a bad thing. ❤️